Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

Short things are short all over and long things are long all over.

If I were overweight because I ate too much, I would have far more of a complex.
I would know if I just stopped eating and showed a little discipline I would be thin.
But there's not a hell of a lot I can do about being short. You just gotta run with it.

If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

Never have children, only grandchildren.

Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important.